Post by Dragon Man on Apr 12, 2020 12:25:56 GMT
This could happen in my lifetime with the pace of change increasing every minute of the day. A frightening thought!, I regularly feel I'm being left behind at an alarming rate.
The way it will be...very soon.
CALLER: Is this Starshine Telescopes?
GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Telescopes.
CALLER: I must have dialled a wrong number. Sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Starshine Telescopes last month.
CALLER: OK, I would like to purchase an Astrograph.
GOOGLE: Do you want your usual type, sir?
CALLER: My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 3 times you called, you purchased a 6 inch Newtonian Reflector, an 8 inch Newtonian Reflector, and a Coma Corrector for a fast Newtonian.
CALLER: OK! I'd like to purchase a 10 inch Skywatcher
Newtonian Astrograph.
GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order the much lighter 80mm short tube Refractor.
CALLER: What? I don't like Refractors.
GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir, and the 10 inch Astrograph is way too heavy for you.
CALLER: How the hell do you know?
GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your terrible small aperture Refractor.
I want a 10 inch Astrograph!
GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. The 10 inch Astrograph is way too heavy for your condition. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at FamilyCare Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
CALLER: I'll be OK! I bought more from another chemist.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER: I paid in cash.
GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER: I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
CALLER: WHAT THE HELL?
GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, no cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…
The way it will be...very soon.
CALLER: Is this Starshine Telescopes?
GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Telescopes.
CALLER: I must have dialled a wrong number. Sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Starshine Telescopes last month.
CALLER: OK, I would like to purchase an Astrograph.
GOOGLE: Do you want your usual type, sir?
CALLER: My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 3 times you called, you purchased a 6 inch Newtonian Reflector, an 8 inch Newtonian Reflector, and a Coma Corrector for a fast Newtonian.
CALLER: OK! I'd like to purchase a 10 inch Skywatcher
Newtonian Astrograph.
GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order the much lighter 80mm short tube Refractor.
CALLER: What? I don't like Refractors.
GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir, and the 10 inch Astrograph is way too heavy for you.
CALLER: How the hell do you know?
GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your terrible small aperture Refractor.
I want a 10 inch Astrograph!
GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. The 10 inch Astrograph is way too heavy for your condition. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at FamilyCare Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
CALLER: I'll be OK! I bought more from another chemist.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER: I paid in cash.
GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER: I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
CALLER: WHAT THE HELL?
GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, no cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…